Faux News Network is proud to announce an interview with Gundarland’s most famous chef, Burga the Warrior-Cook. Besides the interview, Burga has agreed to share a recipe with us.
All of Burga’s recipes are from various ethnic races in Gundarland and Zaftan 31B. Our Gundarland reporter Sandra Elfenheimer negotiated the interview with Burga who searches for recipes whenever he is adventuring. Here is Elfenheimer’s interview with Burga.
Elfenheimer: Please, tell us about yourself
Burga: My name is Burga. I’m a warrior-cook and I’ve starred in two short stories. One is called Recipe for Revenge and it’s published in 10 Great Fantasy Short Stories. The second story is Boggerts Blue and it’s in Tales From Gundarland. I’m always searchin’ for new recipes and new cookin’ techniques. That’s me in the picture on the cover of the Gundarland book. I’m holding two of my cookin’ tools. They’re also my weapons. The skillet is called Frya and it doubles as my shield and as a blunt instrument. The spatula is named Flippa and it has three razor-sharp edges so I use it in place of a sword.
Elfenheimer: Will you be in any future stories?
Burga: The author keeps promising me a major role in a new novel, but that’s all I get, promises. Never trust an author to keep his word. That’s why I’m publishin’ these recipes. I gotta do it to keep my name in front of the readin’ and cookin’ public.
Elfenheimer: Are you planning to publish a cookbook?
Burga: I do. It’s called Strange Worlds Recipes. I know it’ll be a big hit ’cause all the recipes are so different from what everyone usually cooks and eats.
Elfenhimer: How did you get the recipes?
Burga: Guile, tradin’, stealin’. The usual stuff that goes on in the cookin’ world.
Elfenheimer: We’re excited to publish one of your recipes. What can you tell us about it?
Burga: Remember, my recipes are from strange worlds. You may wanna try them on your in-laws or nasty neighbors before serving ’em to your family.
Elfenheimer: Any hints on what recipes you’ll be sharing in your cookbook?
Burga: Sure. Some of ’em are, Fricassed Entrails, Lily Pad Bundles, Spike in the Eye and Rodent Ragout. There’ll be a lot more, but this will give you an idea on what to expect.
Elfenheimer: Any thing else you’d like to add?
Burga: Yeah. I want everyone to write to the nithing author and demand that he write me into more stories.
Elfenheimer: Can you give us the sample recipe?
Burga: Sure. Here’s the recipe for Mud Pancakes. I got it from a troll friend.
Not for everybody. This is an acquired taste. These are traditionally smashed at the table with a hammer. If the pancakes are on a plate, the plate will naturally be smashed as well. Trolls consider it good manners to eat both the pancakes and the plate bits.
Cuisine: Trollish
Course: Appetizer
Burga Says: If you aren’t a troll, don’t try to eat this stuff. It’ll break your teeth.
Time: three hours
Servings: twelve
Ingredients:
2 pounds clean river mud
1 cup well rotted vegetation
Preparation:
- Mix mud and vegetation in a bowl
- Form mix into twelve pancakes
- Cook in oven at 450 degrees for three hours or until the pancakes have turned into flat stones.
- Serve hot or cold
Elfenheim: Thank you, Burga for an entertaining interview.
FNN Note
Publishing the cookbook will be made possible by a grant from Strange Worlds Publishing. Please visit the publisher’s website and buy books written by the creator of the Strange Worlds characters and stories.
