Posts Tagged ‘Shakespeare’

Tales From Gundarland review

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010
Here is Fran Lewis’s review as posted on Amazon: 5 stars

Welcome to Gundarland, a unique place filled with humans, dwarfs, Yuks, elves. Enter this world created by a god who sneezed. You read that right He sneezed with such force caused byGundarlandEbook3D snorting an overdose of His favorite recreational powder. Gundarland is the largest land mass of planet and you’ll want to read this outstanding, hysterical, humorous, creative and wildly funny novel by author Hank Quense. Buy the book and you’ll get your very own gold passport to visit this wonderful place.

Hank Quense is the master of humor, satire and hilarity in this great book filled with magic, wizards, humans, and many races and, of course, some zany characters that I hope he brings back in his next book.

As to the stories themselves:

When Romeo and Juliet meet in ballet class it’s love at first sight. But her brothers do their best to destroy any hope of happiness for these two lovebirds. With a chaperone that is evil and brothers who think they can best Romeo, this story will delight readers, renew your faith in love and make you definitely crack up laughing.

Next we meet the newest superhero Zarro who rides his fractious mule Belinda, and hopes to make the world safe from Yuks and Elves alike. Stopping the execution of a dwarf and ridding the town of Yuks, Zarro hides his identity from friends, foes and family to make his world a safer place for the dwarves. This is the only the first part of the novella, Chasing Dreams.

In Boggerts Blue, we meet a kidnapped princess who refuses to accept her rescuer because he is not a noble and not part of the right social class to rescue her. What a rude thing to do.

The Big Bang is about loyalty, friendships, caring, protecting others from harm. It’s heartwarming, and tears that will fall from your eyes and soak a tissue from laughter,

In the Queen’s Hero, the longest story in the book, you’ll meet a tinker-warrior, a semi-honest ship’s captain, a weather witch, a yuk pirate admiral, a queen, her three daughters and a band of irritating bureaucrats. Great fun!

In the Merchant of Venison, you’ll learn what happens when a man wants a pound of flesh as a loan payment rather than the money. What does the judge decide and how is the debt finally paid? What law is invoked at the end that changes everything? Read this story and learn why lending money can be hazardous to your health and more.

The Inter-Racial Musical Playoffs involves wizards trying to fix the competition so they can rake in a bundle of money on their bets. Wait until you read this ending filled with twists, turns, spells and more.

The final story in this book is Tactical Surprise and it will endear you to the main characters and renew your faith in friendship, honesty and laughter.

For a list of book sellers follow this link.

Tales From Gundarland: Announcement

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

Laughter is contagious.  Enjoy some by reading this book. It’s filled with delightful entertainment.  Without commercial interruption! Gundarland is populated by humans, dwarfs, elves and other races;Dwarf2 it’s the backdrop for unique adventures, brilliant heroes and cunning villains. This collection of humorous short stories and novellas is now available in both print (Amazon)and ebook (Smashwords) versions.

Check out the trailer on Youtube.

Brian Knight, a reviewer wrote: “Tales from Gundarland is an action packed, roller coaster. This wonderfully developed land with its inhabitants is a refreshing get away from the world we live in. All of the multiple characters are both believable and unique which is a testament to the author’s talent.

Each of the eight short stories deliver a fresh, humorous spin on some of the classic tales such as Romeo and Juliet and Zorro; while poking fun at political greed and social aspects of life. Action and adventure keeps the pace moving at a steady pace; when combined with the humorous aspects the stories take on a vivid presence in the readers mind. The common denominator that holds them all together is Gundarland.

From the first word, Hank Quense’s passion for crafting gripping tales and quick wit takes center stage. Instantly, you are immersed in the land of Gundarland next to the multiple individuals that inhabit the planet. With each passing page, it is virtually impossible not to become part of the humor and adventure within “Tales FromGundarlandEbook3D Gundarland.”

“Tales From Gundarland” delivers nonstop action and laughs with an intriguing pinch of romance. The unique stories, strong characters and multiple plots carry from story to story and page to page. This book is a must have for those seeking action, adventure and comedy bundled in short, deliberate stories.”

Here is a list of the stories and a brief synopsis of each:

Romeo and Juliet: Romeo, a dwarf miner, and Juliet, the elfin daughter of a rich gem merchant, have a rocky courtship because Juliet’s brothers are avowed enemies of Romeo’s family.

Chasing Dreams: This novella tells the story of twin yuk brothers on their journey from strong-armed thugs to highway robbers to bawdy house owners to politicians. The brothers are plagued and harassed by vigilantes.

Boggerts Blue: A warrior-cook seeks to rescue a kidnapped princess.  She refuses to be rescued by someone who isn’t noble-born.

The Big Bang: A wizard has to eliminate a dragon and his minions.  Along the way to complete his mission, he is tested by a shape-changer and a pair of trolls.

The Queen’s Hero: This novella is about a young tinker-warrior asSkiletManhe struggles to save his Queen from a pirate admiral trying to overthrow her and become king. The Queen’s three beautiful daughters have their own plans for the young hero.

Merchant of Venison: A dwarf butcher borrows money to help his best friend and soon regrets it.  The dwelf money lender has bloody ideas about the default payments.

Inter-Racial Musical Playoffs: A few greedy wizards attempt to fix a musical competition.  Other wizards try to protect the band leader who is favored to win the competition.

Tactical Surprise: A general develops unusual tactics to defeat a rebel army.  The enemy leader is a close family friend making the general’s decisions more difficult.

Tales from Gundarland preview

Saturday, June 12th, 2010

GundarlandEbook3DYou can preview some scenes from the upcoming print version of Tales From Gundarland.  I appreciate it if you would read them and rate them.

Use this link

Tales From Gundarland now available

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

My newest collection of humorous stories is now available in number of ebook formats from Smashwords.  A print version will be available during the summer.

Laughter is like free health insurance: you can’t get too much of it.  This book will give youGundarland3enough laughs to boost your health. It’s filled with delightful entertainment.  Without commercial interruption!

Gundarland is populated by humans, dwarfs, elves and other races; it’s the backdrop for unique adventures, brilliant heroes and cunning villains.

There are six short stories and two novellas in here.  All are new works. You’ll meet some of Shakespeare’s most famous characters, a warrior-cook, vigilantes, along with beautiful, lusty princesses to mention just a few of the memorable characters in the stories.

The Table of Contents follows:

Gundarland: An introduction to the wonderful land of incongruity.

Romeo & Juliet: A poor dwarf miner, Romeo, falls in love with a rich elf maiden, Juliet. Alas, their families have been in a murderous feud for decades.

Chasing Dreams: recounts the rise of larcenous twin brothers from strong-armed thugs to highway robbers to saloon owners to politicians. During their journey they are harassed by vigilantes.

Boggerts Blue: Burga, a warrior-cook, rescues a kidnapped princess who decides he is too low-born. She returns to captivity to await a noble-born rescuer.

The Big Bang: The wizard Brodwin must evade and survive the clever trap set by his hated superior.

The Queen’s Hero: Knuben, a warrior-tinker is ordered to defeat a pirate admiral to save a queen’s throne while distracted by three beautiful and lusty princesses.

Merchant of Venison: Antonio, a butcher, borrows money from a hate-filled money-lender named Shylock and faces a dire penalty when the repayment is late.

Inter-Racial Musical Playoffs: Greedy wizards attempt to fix a musical competition to win a large bet at good odds.

Tactical Surprise: A general uses unusual tactics to defeat a rebel general without losing the rebel’s friendship.

Interview with the Wyrd Sisters:

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

I have with me today the three Wyrd Sisters, Agatha, Bertha and Carla.  After their walk-on role in Shakespeare’s MacBeth, the sisters have finally got some juicy roles. More specifically, they have now starred in The Long-lost Act IV of Macbeth (Published by Bards and Sages) and MacBeth: the Sequel (published by Chimaera Serials), one of the stories in the Tunnel Vision collection.  They are also negotiating a guest appearance role in The Drakin Chronicles, a new novel now being written.  So, on with the questions:

Hank: How was it working the Bard, Will Shakespeare?

Bertha: Never should have agreed to be in the play.

Agath: That right’s.  We got a royal hosing from Will.

Carla: We expected fame and we got ugly.

H: What happened?

C: Willy Bastard wrote us in as little more than walk-ons.

B: We expected a starring role.  Right behind MacBeth and his ninny of a wife.

A: Plus, he made us old, fat and ugly, not pretty like we wanted.

C: Aye. We never thought we’d be beldams

H: Is it that bad?  I mean lots of people know who you are.  Fame isn’t all that bad.

A: The bad part ’tis men won’t touch us with a ten-foot pole.

B: Aye.  All we ask is for few sturdy yeomen to harvest our maidenheads.  Does that happen?  No way.

C: It’s not like we plan to charge them.

A: a free hump is a free hump, ain’t it?  So what’s with these guys anyway?

H: This is a family blog, so let’s change the subject.

C: Burga gave out a recipe.  How about we talk about making our chicken soup?

H: Sounds good.

B: You start by filling a large caldron with water and set it over a roaring fire.  When it boils, throw in chicken.

A: A dead one makes a lot less fuss.

H: No eye of a newt?  No dried bat’s blood?

C: Naw.  We got a better way to flavor the soup.  See, we throw in our dirty robes and let everything boil for three, four hours.

B: Then you have to skim off the feathers, ’cause you don’t want to eat them.

A: They stick in your craw, they do.

B: Then you pull out the wash, all clean –

C: More or less.

B:– and the soup is ready to eat.

H: We have to cut this interview short because I have a queasy stomach.

C: Come back when you feel better.  We can have a good time.