Archive for October, 2011

End of the Line

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

This blog site is now defunct.  I’ve reorganized my web presence and started a new website dedicated to the two Strange Worlds I’ve created for my characters to romp around in.  The URL is

All my new blog posts will be on

This includes all new Faux News Network reports, my rants and occcasional bits of wisdom.

Come on over and subscribe to ensure you get the latest posts

It’s Party Time!

Saturday, October 15th, 2011

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Faux News Network Spokesman:  It is my great pleasure to announce that Faux News Network in association with Strange Worlds Online presents the official launch party for Hank Quense’s new novel, Zaftan Miscreants: Book 2 of the Zaftan Trilogy.

Ms. Marcia Hammerhead will be the Mistress of Ceremonies for the party.  You can watch her ZaftanMiscreantFront2arecent interview with Mr. Quense on YouTube.

And now, here is Ms Hammerhead.

Ms. Hammerhead:  I don’t know why I have to do this stuff.  I hate genre fiction. Especially Quense’s fiction.  Unfortunately, I need the money, so here goes.

This launch party is a virtual scavenger hunt.  If you go to various websites and find the correct pages, you can accumulate prizes that aren’t virtual, they’re real stuff.  However, if you’re looking for true literature, you’re out of luck.  The prizes are all trashy genre stuff.

First off, go the website This is the home page.  Your job is to find the Zaftan Miscreants main page.  On that page you’ll see what you won.

Next, go to Facebook, find the Strange Worlds Online page and click on “like”. (Why you would ‘like’ this escapes me.) This entitles you to win one, possibly two ebooks filled with genre garbage. If you’re unlucky, you may even win an ebook copy of Tales From Gundalrland, more of Quense’s  drivel.

Personally, I think you should skip this scavenger hunt, get a copy of Moby Dick or Shakespeare’s plays and read some true literature.

But, what do I know?  By the way, don’t bother to watch the interview.  It’s terrible.

October is Zaftan Entrepreneurs discount month

Friday, October 7th, 2011

Zaftan Entrepreneurs is the first book in a trilogy.  The second book, Zaftan Miscreants, will become available onZaftan3D_2a October 15.  To celebrate, I’m offering discounts on the first book for the rest of the month.  The ebook will be discounted 50% and the print edition will have a one-third discount.  Go to the Strange Worlds website for more details.

Zaftan Entrepreneurs: a new review

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

The LL Book Review site has posted a review on my novel.  In part it reads:

Hank has managed to combine elements of politics and humor to create this epic tale. As he promised Hank has shown us an undiscovered side of Sci-Fi that has not been seen before. It’sZaftan3D_3a brilliantly unique. He’s managed to cram so many opposing themes and made them flow together. Its kinda like a meal of Brussels sprouts and ice-cream and he’s managed to make it taste like chocolate

My first thought was…quirky, unique, completely original, different, extraordinary… I could go on spewing out a torrent of synonyms but I think you get the point

I see that this book has been quite hyped as being full of laughs and although still funny I wouldn’t say it was comedy, more like wit than anything else. It reminds me of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series and very much like Pratchett’s books I can see this coming a long way and perhaps becoming a cult favorite.

I look forward to reading Zaftan Miscreants, the next in the planned three book series, and as much as I think that it’ll be every bit as good as its predecessor I am slightly disappointed that the book is set two hundred and fifty years after the first, I would of liked to see more of the characters. With a little recognition this could go a long way and I wish Hank Quense to have continued good fortune with his writing. I did forget to mention that ZE has also picked up a Readers Favorite award. To conclude, it’s a brilliant book that shows a new side of Sci-Fi rarely seen before. Buy it!

Here is the complete list of book sellers

(Author’s Note: the characters in this book aren’t in retirement.  They may be back for more adventure, but without the smelly aliens)

Chasing Dreams: a novella

Sunday, October 2nd, 2011

For your reading enjoyment, here is the opening scene from Chasing Dreams, a novella that tells of the journey of twin brothers as they progress from strong-armed thugs to highway bandits to bawdy house owners to politicians.  Along the way, they are harassed by vigilantes posing as heroes.

This novella is in Tales From Gundarland, a collection of six humorous short stories and two novellas



Zarro pulled down the black mask to cover the upper part of his face then peeked over the edge of the roof.  On the hanging platform below, a trembling dwarf stood over a trap door with a noose around his neck.  He had been caught stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving wife and six dwarflings, a common event in the town of Mud Flats.  A large crowd had gathered to watch the entertainment and to enjoy the fine spring weather.

He took in the rest of the platform and gulped.  Three yuk guards!  He expected to face only one.  Two atTFG award coverthe most.  Ferocious fighters, the large, green-skinned yuks wouldn’t take kindly to his interference and they were twice as tall and twice as wide as a dwarf like him.  All three wore the constabulary uniform: tan breeches and shirts open to their navels because their thick, clumsy fingers couldn’t handle the buttons.

Zarro stood up, smoothed his black tunic and checked that his black pants were tucked into the top of his black boots.  Satisfied with his appearance, he uncoiled his bull whip and snapped it forward.  The end wrapped around the stout timber supporting the noose.  He put a death-grip on the handle, took a deep breath, leaped off the roof and flew towards the platform, his cape flapping behind him like a demented bat.

“It’s Zarro!” a spectator yelled.

“Zarro has returned!” another screamed.

The whip unraveled and Zarro added to the chorus of screams before he crashed onto the platform and bumped the prisoner.  A gasping sound came from the dwarf as he dangled at the end of the noose and scrabbled to get his feet back on the platform.  Zarro dropped the whip, pulled out his cutlass and hacked through the rope.  The dwarf fell into the crowd.

“Wot’s this then?” a dwarf in the front row said.  “No hangin’?”

“I been standin’ inna hot sun for hours,” another said.  “I ain’t gonna be cheated.”

The spectators threw the sobbing prisoner back onto the platform.

Two yuks charged Zarro from different angles.  He shifted his feet, got them tangled in the whip and fell on his face just as the yuks slashed with their swords.  Both constables stabbed each other in the leg.  Their swords clattered to the platform as Zarro scrambled to his feet and faced the last yuk.

“Zarro!” The crowd roared.

Zarro backed up.  His opponent growled in anger and strode forward, his cutlass raised over his head.  Zarro gulped.  His sword was less than half as long as the other’s blade.

“A half-penny says Zarro loses his guts,” a spectator yelled.

“Done,” another replied.

Before the yuk could strike, Zarro’s donkey, Belinda, trotted up the steps in the rear of the platform.  The wood planks shook and bounced as she ran over to the yuk and bit his shoulder.  The yuk howled and dropped his sword.  Zarro thanked the Fates that Belinda hated yuks even more than she hated him.  He looked around for the prisoner and saw him hurrying away surrounded by a bunch of dwarflings.  A female walked backwards holding a stout tree branch and threatened anyone who came close.

He fetched his whip and coiled it.  Then, with rapid slashes of his sword, incised the letter Z on the yuk’s chest.  He crept close to Belinda from behind and leaped into the saddle.

“Zarro!” the crowd yelled over and over.

Belinda stood on her rear legs and shook herself.

“Stop trying to throw me, you stupid animal.”  Zarro barely held on.

The crowd cheered.

Zarro held the reins and squeezed his calves as tight as he could.  Belinda leaped into the air and bucked while trying to bite Zarro’s foot.  He bashed the back of her head with the whip handle.

“Zarro!” the crowd roared.

Belinda jumped off the platform and ran towards the woods.  Zarro’s cape billowing and snapping like a loose sail.

He managed to duck in time as Belinda ran under a low-hanging branch trying to scrape him out of the saddle.

“Zarro!” the crowd screamed.