Background: Civilization on Earth, devastated by wars, diseases and pollution, has been thrown back into the Dark Ages. Alberich, a scrawny alien exiled from his home in the Niebelung System, found the Rhinegold, a magical horde, and, being a computer genius, created the Chip and the Helm. These artifacts have immense powers. Fafner, a huge, squid-like alien from Zaftan 31B, stole the artifacts. For years, Alberich has plotted revenge and the recovery of the artifacts. Now he is about to attempt it.
Alberich panted from the exertion of hauling the remote
device and a portable fusion power pack up a hill near
Fafner’s home. He collapsed on the ground to catch his
breath. After resting for a few minutes, he peeked over the
crest. From his vantage point he could see Fafner sunning
himself on the steps of his home. He grinned. Fafner
made a perfect target.
Fafner’s house seemed to be some sort of small public
building made of whitewashed brick. Alberich puzzled over
why the mortals brought food and drink and placed it
outside Fafner’s home.
After an hour of waiting, Fafner reached into a leather
sack and took out the Helm.
Alberich sucked in air. This was what he had waited for.
Fafner wiped the back of his head and plopped the
Helm on it.
Alberich’s hands shook so much from excitement that
he had trouble plugging the remote into the power pack.
After a few attempts, he made the connection, turned it on
and waited impatiently for the remote to warm up. Finally,
the status light turned green. He aimed the remote at
Fafner’s doorway and punched the firing button. The
remote buzzed and vibrated. Alberich kept it pointed at
Fafner.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then Fafner
stiffened. His eye stalks flopped around in various
directions. His eyeballs rotated wildly; left, right, up, down.
A moaning sound came from Fafner’s beak. His tentacles
twitched.
Alberich pushed the intensity slider up a notch. He
laughed out loud as Fafner responded to the power
change. Revenge was as great as it was reported to be.
Sparks flew around Fafner’s head. His twitching
became convulsive. His eyeballs gyrated at higher speed.
Smoke leaked out from under the Helm.
Alberich responded to the joyful scene by pushing the
slider to full intensity.
Fafner’s slime around the Helm burst into flame.
The remote exploded, stunning Alberich.
Fafner finally moved. He leaped up and quick-slithered
towards the bank of the Rhine River trailed by a cloud of
blue-green smoke.
To get your own copy of Fool’s Gold, go here
Would Wagner have died laughing?
Who but that master of satire, Hank Quense, would even think of turning Wagner’s Ring opera into a comical space opera? Well, actually it all takes place on our planet, but some of the main characters are aliens.
The dragon, Fafner, is replaced by a slimy, squid-like master criminal, a native of Zaftan 31B, marooned on Earth. The two dwarves, Alberich and Mime, are also aliens, exiled to this planet. Alberich, a technical genius, has appropriated the Rhinegold to produce some magical devices.
Without the Rhinegold, Wotan and the other gods are losing their immortality. Naturally they want it back. Everyone’s after the gold, including the humans and all the power-hungry aliens. Wotan’s complicated schemes to reclaim the gold are stymied by his interfering wife. It’s a continuous comedy of errors as each faction seeks power and all are working at cross-purposes. Through it all, Brunnhilde keeps up her personal quest for true love.
What delicious fun!
Jan Clark: author of The Hall of Door series of YA novels
