Posts Tagged ‘humor’

A Freebie!

Saturday, September 18th, 2010

I’ve put together a sampler, Humorous Yarns and Other Stuff.  It contains a number of my stories and parts of novels.  It was put together as a sampler for those not familiar with my writing and my weird sense of humor.  I challenge you to read these stories and selections without laughing.

You can download it in a number of formats from Smashwords without charge.  Use this link: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/hanque

Please pass it on to others when you’re done with it.

Sampler cover

Tales From Gundarland review

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010
Here is Fran Lewis’s review as posted on Amazon: 5 stars

Welcome to Gundarland, a unique place filled with humans, dwarfs, Yuks, elves. Enter this world created by a god who sneezed. You read that right He sneezed with such force caused byGundarlandEbook3D snorting an overdose of His favorite recreational powder. Gundarland is the largest land mass of planet and you’ll want to read this outstanding, hysterical, humorous, creative and wildly funny novel by author Hank Quense. Buy the book and you’ll get your very own gold passport to visit this wonderful place.

Hank Quense is the master of humor, satire and hilarity in this great book filled with magic, wizards, humans, and many races and, of course, some zany characters that I hope he brings back in his next book.

As to the stories themselves:

When Romeo and Juliet meet in ballet class it’s love at first sight. But her brothers do their best to destroy any hope of happiness for these two lovebirds. With a chaperone that is evil and brothers who think they can best Romeo, this story will delight readers, renew your faith in love and make you definitely crack up laughing.

Next we meet the newest superhero Zarro who rides his fractious mule Belinda, and hopes to make the world safe from Yuks and Elves alike. Stopping the execution of a dwarf and ridding the town of Yuks, Zarro hides his identity from friends, foes and family to make his world a safer place for the dwarves. This is the only the first part of the novella, Chasing Dreams.

In Boggerts Blue, we meet a kidnapped princess who refuses to accept her rescuer because he is not a noble and not part of the right social class to rescue her. What a rude thing to do.

The Big Bang is about loyalty, friendships, caring, protecting others from harm. It’s heartwarming, and tears that will fall from your eyes and soak a tissue from laughter,

In the Queen’s Hero, the longest story in the book, you’ll meet a tinker-warrior, a semi-honest ship’s captain, a weather witch, a yuk pirate admiral, a queen, her three daughters and a band of irritating bureaucrats. Great fun!

In the Merchant of Venison, you’ll learn what happens when a man wants a pound of flesh as a loan payment rather than the money. What does the judge decide and how is the debt finally paid? What law is invoked at the end that changes everything? Read this story and learn why lending money can be hazardous to your health and more.

The Inter-Racial Musical Playoffs involves wizards trying to fix the competition so they can rake in a bundle of money on their bets. Wait until you read this ending filled with twists, turns, spells and more.

The final story in this book is Tactical Surprise and it will endear you to the main characters and renew your faith in friendship, honesty and laughter.

For a list of book sellers follow this link.

Blonde Bombshell by Tom Holt

Saturday, August 14th, 2010

Tom Holt goes scifi!  Ostar is a planet inhabited by intelligent dogs who keep humans as  pampered pets.  Ostar is getting bombarded by music from Earth (which the Ostars call Dirt) and they are determined to wipe out the Dirters so they can regain their sanity.  They send a planet-busting highly intelligent bomb, but it fails.  A second bomb is sent.  This one is wary and searches for the defense shield that must have destroyed the first bomb. To research further, the intelligence pits itself into a probe and transports to Dirt to search for the shield.  Named Mark Twain, it ruins into a blonde woman named Lucy Pavlov who is the CEO of the largest computer company in the world.  Oddly, Lucy can’t recall anything that happened more than five years ago.  By this time, the plot has become too complicated to explore here.

For Tom Holt fans, the book is a rare scifi treat since he usually writes fantasy.

Four out of five stars.

The grueling “Tour de Hoboken” is about to start!

Saturday, July 10th, 2010

(Faux News Network)

This exciting tour is scheduled to begin on Monday. Three dozen riders from around the world are willing to try their luck in this most dangerous of all bike tours.

The ten day tour takes place in New Jersey across the Hudson River from Manhattan and features tough biking through the massive rush-hour traffic that clogs the entrances to the Lincoln and Holland Tunnels.  In between these two hazards, the riders must negotiate the heavily populated urban landscape of Hoboken and Weehawken, no easy task on weekends, let alone weekdays when the tour takes place.

Each weekday, the riders put in two laps, one in the morning rush-hour and the second in the evening rush-hour. On alternate days, the morning lap begins at the Lincoln Tunnel and the evening lap starts at the Holland.  Each rider is required to travel to the other tunnel, touch the wall at the tunnel entrance and return to the starting point.

The lap is perilous in the extreme because, unlike other bike races, the route is not cleared of traffic.  The riders have to dodge past the cars, trucks and buses trying to get to or from Manhattan. The complete circuit is 2.5 to 3 miles long depending upon the exact route since detours around jammed streets is permitted and encouraged.

The route run along traffic-clogged Washington Street in Hoboken is fraught with danger from delivery trucks, toxic air from the vehicles and beer-bottle-throwing crowds.  On average, six riders are hospitalized each year from traffic accidents or fights with the spectators.   Two years ago, rider Pepi Stalone, became entangled with a beer truck and by the time he got free, the pack was several blocks in front of him.  Isolated and trying to catch up, he was attacked by three muggers who bound him with duct tape and stole his ID and his bike.

OSC, the Obscure Sports Channel, will carry the race live each morning and night and will provide boring commentary from unknown experts.

Tales From Gundarland: Announcement

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

Laughter is contagious.  Enjoy some by reading this book. It’s filled with delightful entertainment.  Without commercial interruption! Gundarland is populated by humans, dwarfs, elves and other races;Dwarf2 it’s the backdrop for unique adventures, brilliant heroes and cunning villains. This collection of humorous short stories and novellas is now available in both print (Amazon)and ebook (Smashwords) versions.

Check out the trailer on Youtube.

Brian Knight, a reviewer wrote: “Tales from Gundarland is an action packed, roller coaster. This wonderfully developed land with its inhabitants is a refreshing get away from the world we live in. All of the multiple characters are both believable and unique which is a testament to the author’s talent.

Each of the eight short stories deliver a fresh, humorous spin on some of the classic tales such as Romeo and Juliet and Zorro; while poking fun at political greed and social aspects of life. Action and adventure keeps the pace moving at a steady pace; when combined with the humorous aspects the stories take on a vivid presence in the readers mind. The common denominator that holds them all together is Gundarland.

From the first word, Hank Quense’s passion for crafting gripping tales and quick wit takes center stage. Instantly, you are immersed in the land of Gundarland next to the multiple individuals that inhabit the planet. With each passing page, it is virtually impossible not to become part of the humor and adventure within “Tales FromGundarlandEbook3D Gundarland.”

“Tales From Gundarland” delivers nonstop action and laughs with an intriguing pinch of romance. The unique stories, strong characters and multiple plots carry from story to story and page to page. This book is a must have for those seeking action, adventure and comedy bundled in short, deliberate stories.”

Here is a list of the stories and a brief synopsis of each:

Romeo and Juliet: Romeo, a dwarf miner, and Juliet, the elfin daughter of a rich gem merchant, have a rocky courtship because Juliet’s brothers are avowed enemies of Romeo’s family.

Chasing Dreams: This novella tells the story of twin yuk brothers on their journey from strong-armed thugs to highway robbers to bawdy house owners to politicians. The brothers are plagued and harassed by vigilantes.

Boggerts Blue: A warrior-cook seeks to rescue a kidnapped princess.  She refuses to be rescued by someone who isn’t noble-born.

The Big Bang: A wizard has to eliminate a dragon and his minions.  Along the way to complete his mission, he is tested by a shape-changer and a pair of trolls.

The Queen’s Hero: This novella is about a young tinker-warrior asSkiletManhe struggles to save his Queen from a pirate admiral trying to overthrow her and become king. The Queen’s three beautiful daughters have their own plans for the young hero.

Merchant of Venison: A dwarf butcher borrows money to help his best friend and soon regrets it.  The dwelf money lender has bloody ideas about the default payments.

Inter-Racial Musical Playoffs: A few greedy wizards attempt to fix a musical competition.  Other wizards try to protect the band leader who is favored to win the competition.

Tactical Surprise: A general develops unusual tactics to defeat a rebel army.  The enemy leader is a close family friend making the general’s decisions more difficult.

Tales for the Troops

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

This collection of ten short stories has been available only to military personnel since it became available in late 2007.  It now is available to everyone in a number of ebook formats.  For more information check out the  website page on this collection.

TT CVR

New Interview

Friday, April 16th, 2010
Today, I’m interviewed by Sheila Crosby on her blog.  We talk about my novel Fool’s
Fool's Gold Cover
Fool’s Gold Cover
Gold. Sheila is an author and a photographer.  She’s also a Brit ex-pat living in the Canary Islands.

Build a Better Story

Monday, March 1st, 2010

Build a Better Story is now available in ebook format. It replaces the previous version Get it in Gear.  The new version has 67% more material.  Its focus is on providing a method of organizing the thoughts and story elements in a way that simplifies writing the first draft.

An artist doesn’t start slopping paint on a blank canvas the instant she gets an idea for a new painting.  She sketches the ideas on
paper and then prepares the canvas.  So too, an author has to sketch out the story ideas and prepare the ‘canvas’ before setting out to write the first draft.  Build a Better Story shows you how to do that.

Build a Better Story received five stars from Readers Favorites.

Check it out here!

BABS Cover

New Interview

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

Today I was interviewed by Susan Whitfield on her blog.  We talked  about Fool’s Gold and my writing projects.

You can catch it here.

Fool’s Gold Interview

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010
On 2/10/10 I had an interview with Nanci Arvizu on Blog Talk Radio to discuss

Fool's Gold Cover

Fool's Gold Cover

my novel Fool’s Gold.  You can listen or download it to hear later at this site or click on the link below